Reaction to Howl

In class I was one of the few people who didn't love Howl. I read it for class and then I read it again tonight before class since I got there early. And then we read it in class, too. So, I've given it a chance. It is like the three bite rule we had at my house for food you didn't know about. Try it three times, and see how it goes. After that, it was ok to say, that's not for me. I think Howl is well written. I think the word choice and images are really unique and I understand how Ginsberg did something totally new. I wouldn't mind reading Howl again if I was writing a paper about it, or had it assigned in another class. I think Howl didn't appeal to me at a basic level because Ginsberg did so well what he intended to do. He created a very strong set of images and emotions and I saw them and felt them. I just wouldn't care to do so again soon. I disagree that art has to be pretty or nice or in some way educational, but I do think it is ok to say, "I want the art with which I surround myself to make me feel good or relaxed or excited, etc." I think my life, just like a lot of college students' lives, is busy and stressful. So when I have time to take a break, I want something that doesn't contain images that are hard and sharp and dissonant. I feel like the reaction I had to Howl is much like the reaction I have from a really busy day or a really bad conversation after not enough sleep. The feelings it evoked were powerful, but depleting. I am so tempted to throw in a punn about beat poetry. I won't, but I will say, Howl is the quintessential beat poem for a reason.

Something German we don't have in English

For my Single Author Research project I took a closer look at James Weldon Johnson...one of the many contributions he made was to introduce new parts of lanuage in to American English. I started to think about why we have the words we have.
In my German class we learn so many vocabulary words that we can see in English or we can at least translate. Then, there are words that don't translate directly. For example, "gemutlichkeit" is a really nice word. In German it suggests a feeling of warmth and comfort and joy, all in one. We don't have a word that means all those things in English. Another word, one that I think it used occasionally in English (it is a word journalists love...) is "schadenfreude". It means, literally, damage happiness. In most dictionaries it is translated to mean "gloating" but really, "schadenfreude" means something different. It is the feeling you have when someone you dislike suffers a setback or misfortune...when you find a secret happiness over someone's misfortune. I was thinking, why don't we have a word in English to mean "gemutlichkeit" or "schadenfreude"? I immediately thought of our discussions about Franklin's autobiography. We have dicided that he tried to/ did set American ideals in his autobiography. He liked the idea of moderation. Don't eat too much, drink too much, sleep too much, etc. Could he also have meant not to love too much, gloat too much? Is it possible that we don't have words in American English to mean the things that "gemutlichkeit" suggest because to be that warm and fuzzy is too much? In the same way, s 'schadenfreude" too negative? It would be almost unamerican to have a feeling like that. This idea explains why even though most of us have had such a feeling at one point or another, we don't talk about it, and we would rather not admit it at all.

The American Tradition of Silent Suffering

Tonight I began training at the Rappahanock Council Against Sexual Assault. We began training by discussing some statistics about the prevalence of assault among different age groups. We learned about the sad cycle of incest and abuse among generations of families and about how few resources exist even now for people who are sufferers. I began to think about how sexual assault has impacted our culture and our American identity. We've seen in our readings that part of being ideal Americans is being able to pull ourselves out of the bad circumstances in our lives and keep going toward greatness. This way of thinking, while sometimes inspirational, hinders the process of healing because it discourages us to seek resources outside of ourselves and maybe our family. So often sexual assault is a family problem because survivors are victimized by someone they know and trust, sometimes even by someone within the family. But even now that families are less isolated than they've been in the past, men and women still have trouble asking for help for so many taboo issues like sexual assault. It has always been part of our American identity to silently overcome our personal obstacles, and while we're moving away from suffering alone, so many victims of sexual abuse and assult still cannot speak up. What does that say about our culture? Are we really as open and foreward thinking as we think we are?

If you're interested in using the resources at RCASA or to find out about volunteer opportunities you can call them at (540)371-1666 or you can email me at tizzylizzy628@hotmail.com